The Free Object-Oriented License
--------------------------------
(1)
 This software may be distributed, in whole or in part, in sickness
 or in health, for better or for worse, forsaking all others, for as
 long as we both shall live. Upon such occasion as deemed appropriate
 by the laws of this state and the Attorney General, or the General
 Attorney, or the King of Pop, you will transferred to a correctional
 facility until such time as you will be put to death.
 (2)
 You have the right to an attorney. You have the right to remain
 silent. You have to fight for your right to par-tee. This license
 may not be revoked, redistributed, photocopied, or discussed without
 the express written consent of the parents. All models eighteen years
 of age, proof on file. The manager is not responsible for lost baggage.
 (3)
 This product comes with absolutely NO WARRANTY. It also comes without
 meat, for those on a restricted diet. For score and seven years ago,
 our forebearers brought FORTH into this great ham a new nation,
 founded with liberty, justice, and the American way. Amway is another
 story altogether. Carry your paper reciept with you at all times, until
 your plastic one arrives in the mail. A thin layer of aluminum foil may
 protect against leaks.
 (4)
 If at first you don't succeed, cry, try again. As my Calculus teacher
 in high school used to say, "Alegbra is not magic. Algebra does not
 think. Human beings think; and when they do not think, and use algebra,
 then they are dangerous" (Book of Quigley, W:454). 2John 3:16. Best
 pecan pie in the county, guaranteed.  Not redeemable for cash.
 (5)
 Should the creators of this product fail to uphold their duties as
 spelled out in this contract, they shall forfeit the right to their
 crown, and the contestant ranked as First Alternate shall be named
 creator. Should no first alternate exist, the position will be
 determined by a two-thirds majority vote in the Senate. All disputes
 will be settled by force.
 (6)
 Conjuction junction, what's *your* function? Shall I compare thee to a
 summer's day? Thou art more than expected. If a train leaves Chicago
 for New York at 8:00am, traveling at 60 kph, and another train on a
 parallel track leaves New York for Chicago one hour later at 75 kph,
 when the two trains meet, which one will be further from Chicago?
 Write your entry on the back of 3x5 or larger notecard, and wait for
 our call. No, YOU shut up! In Texas, we have a saying:
 (6.5)
 No eating the rabbits. Did I say no licking the rabbits? No, but it was
 implied. If you think I'm kidding just try it, punk. Direct all comments
to
 Office of the Director General, c/o Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 3000 W
 Alameda Blvd, Burbank CA 91523. I wouldn't touch that if I were you. You
 must provide a valid telephone number, or you will not receive your
ticket.
 Does anybody else see a bright, pink light at the back of their eyes?
 (7)
 In the event that this software should require modification, return your
 computer to its original retail outlet. Await further instructions.
Meditation
 will not help. Should you wish to alter or make any modifications,
additions, or
 subtractions, or complex polynomial transformations, good luck, Chester.
 You're on your own. Ask not, want not. You can't make an omlette without
 breakin' a few heads. Some assembly required. A dark color will appear
 quickly. For best results, brew two cups at one time. Do not wash between
 use. Showing one's teeth to the dominant male will be taken as a sign of
 aggression. Once every hour, on the hour, and at other times determined
at the
 discretion of the lifeguard on duty, we will perform a Buddy Check. When
the
 whistle is blown, find your buddy and step onto the shore.
 (8)
 To indicate your agreement with the terms of this license agrement, you
may
 sign your computer screen. We will wait for you on the other side,
brother. Keep the
 faith. Be strong, and remember: be yourself, because you have to someone,
and
 everyone else is already taken.
